18 Dec 2008
by our political correspondent Peregrine Falcone
Wirral MP Frank Soil and Labour Council leader Gary Forks delivered a fatal blow to anti-cultural cuts protesters last night, as moves to deny public debate passed swiftly through the chamber.
In angry scenes which parallel those seen throughout Greece this month, Soil, 123, took action into his own hands.
“I came to the extraordinary meeting of the council's cultural cuts and cod fishery funds re-alignment meeting tonight to show my support for the proposals,” said Frank, on the steps of Wallasey town hall.
“These protesters are just ignorant scum and locals. We know conservative groups are behind the protests, but what do they offer as a solution? Gary and I came out here tonight to sort them out, just as we did New Labour”.
Soil, who is no stranger to anti-social behavior, grappled with grans, minors and fit swimming instructors as he tried to leave the meeting.
Union leaders and protest groups were disgusted at the scenes. Grans against Government (GAG) spokesperson, and serial arrestee, Joan Payments, 89, was, as normal, outraged. “Argggggghhhhh, my arm, yor gonna break it” she screamed, as police used non-confrontational restraining tactics banned by the Geneva Convention.
Merseyside police said they had arrested a number of protesters under the new Prevention of Freedom Act. “In the post 9/11 environment, legitimate protest and civil liberty cannot be tolerated”, laughed Detective Constable Paul Pott.