Wirral welcomes Olympic torch

By Wayne Bridges - Sportswear corespondent

Gladys Hurdle gets her spark back

Wirral is set to go ablaze today with the arrival of the Olympic torch, en-route its Olympic treck around the UK. The torch bearing bus rolled into Birkenhead North last night and was met with minimal reaction and little enthusiasm.

Wirral's sporting legends are braced to carry the torch around the borough in what is being billed as 'the sporting event of the 21st century'. Gladys Hurdle, 98 of Achilles Close, New Brighton is set to start the torch rely today. 

Gladys won bronze competing in the 100 meter air raid shelter dash at the 1936 Olympics in what was then, Nazi Germany. "I'm thrilled to be asked to take part in this relay" said Gladys, as she was being man handled by her NHS home care support nurse. "Goebbels always liked the way I held his torch, I'm really pleased the world kept this occultist Nazi invention of the Olympic flame".

Gladys will hand the torch to 8 times Mobility Scooter Triathlon champion Lilly 'go fast' Jones. Lilly will endure a challenging 300 meter dash along the prom where she will hand over to gold medalist Brian Damage. Brian won gold in the Sayers Pasty challenge back in 2001, run by our rival paper the Wirral Globe. “Training has been tough with all this talk of VAT on pasties, but thanks to Iceland and the Jubilee, I've got more pies in my freezer than Frey Bentos” spluttered Mr Damage, as he bit into an alarmingly hot steak and kidney slice.

From there the Olympic torch makes it way to Liscard where it will be taken into Crack Convertors, where the proceeds of it will be given to the local charity, the Kings Arms.