Nep Dev's Gyrodome Will Reduce Benefit Fraud, says Tax man

by our architectural correspondent Wade Bridge
The latest step in Neptune Developments' continuing goal to cleanse the Wirral went one step further today when plans to build the new extension of Morrisons' Welfare to Work HQ were given the go-ahead by local planning chiefs.

A lucrative partnership between global online bank Paypunk, web entrepreneurs Goddle and Illuminartzy, a financial cabal bent on total world domination, have engineered the construction, set to start in nearby 2010.

Traditionally aghast residents were predictably skeptical when news about the 365 euro development was leaked to the regulars in the Foil and Zippo pub, Conwat St. yesterday, at a special protest meeting that continued well into the early hours.

'Since the proposal to build the new Girodome here in Birkenhead went through, protest groups in the area have gone into overdrive,' said retired undercover benefits fraud strategist, Vaughn Halen, 55, basking in the warmth from a nearby Ginster's this morning.

'Some of us have spent our lives, and those of our grandmas, unemployed in the shadow of the Liver Bird. While Euro hand-outs and culture grants have spilled like manna from Heaven into the open hands of scousers, here in Birkenhead all we're good for is a unworkers processing facility!'

The new centre is planned to handle the claims of over 450,000 'customers', who will have to travel from all over Britain to receive hourly benefits in a bid to reduce fraud.

Once inside, claimants will have five different departments, or levels, to conquer before receiving their hand-out: Housing, Unemployment, Disability, Tagging and Incineration.

Inland Revenue report claimant complaints have plummeted 100% since they started the project in Uganda five years ago and hope to do the same in with several thousand of the OSS cemtres being planned for the North of England and the world as a whole.

Town planners are expected to demand an extension to the Farmer's Market to help cope with the influx of hungry unworkers.