Council leader ‘hit by bus’

Labour council leader, Cllr Fuckups, was in a stable but serious condition last night, after being hit by a bus full of protestors at one of the Wirral’s many lollipop lady-free road crossings.

Cllr Fuckups was leaving Wallasey Town hall after a heated public meeting in which he delivered a fatal stroke to swimming and reading fans across the borough.

Onlookers spoke of the total carnage caused to the Stagemaster single decker bus as it tried to dodge the unpopular councilor. Fortunately for Fuckups, the bus clipped his left rear pocket, hitting only his wallet and causing the bus to flip violently into a nearby lamppost.

Six elderly protestors were also taken to Arrow Park hospital suffering from mild burns caused by falling hashish rocks.

The accident was embarrassing for Cllr Fuckups, who had only recently scrapped all funding for Wirral’s persecuted lollipop ladies.

Only minutes before, Cllr Fuckups had made a passionate plea in support of leisure cuts claiming, “If I was to be hit by a bus tomorrow, there would still be the budget issues and problems for this council”. He was run down by the packed 433 bus (4pm every second Thursday).

Merseyside police say they are investigating the incident, while Labour Councilor’s are claiming the incident was provoked by a Conservative Councilors Facebook page.

Cllr Fuckups wasn’t available for comment but a spokesperson for Labour said he was recovering at a secret location in the Bahamas with Neptune Developments physician, Dr Strangelove.


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