Gimme Shelter: Friday's Neptune Proposal

by our architectural correspondent Wade Bridge

Next in line for Neptune Developments' continuing proposals for the re-gentrification of New Brighton's historic sea-front is this radical new design for the old shelters which form part of the ailing resorts' amenities.

Neptune spokesperson, Rob Taxpayer, announced the proposals at a sumptuous secret ceremony of the town's Masonic Lodge at the weekend during which teenage boys were flogged along with several of Birkenhead's heritage sites.

'This is yet another prong in our multi-forked strategy to civilise the puritanical and backward society Wirral has become,' said Rob over a quail. 'With our new utilitarian architecture, we aim to achieve a conceptual continuity between the resort and other out-of-town facilities, such as Argos or Iceland.'