Birkenhead MP sails into choppy waters

Guinea Gap regulars forced to swim at Marine lake as council cut backs set in

Veteran Birkenhead MP, Frank Soil, has told angry pensioners to go ‘swim in the Mersey’ in the latest row over Wirral Council leisure funding cuts.

Angry Frank, 103, said in a letter to the Wirral Groan today that “budget cuts were necessary to ensure council leaders can make repayments to shadowy new world order types.”

“I’ve been representing this area since 1867. Back then we didn’t have books and communal bath houses. If we fancied a dip we’d have to hike 50 miles to an abandoned quarry in Deeside” said Speedo Classic-clad Soil from the steps of the Marine Lake. “Merseymud is an excellent defoliant also. Rich people would pay good money for this! We’ve been giving it away free for decades and this is the thanks we get” added Frank, as he plunged into the murky depths.

Protest groups have gathered pace, with members of the social networking website Fistbook leading the way. Over 1000 members of the site have signed an online petition to see Mr Soil and his colleagues at Wirral council get a good ducking in the deep end.

“Frank can flipper off” raged one irate poster. “No bombing!” spat another in what is proving to be a lively online debate.

Fistbook members have organized a protest due to take place as Mr Soil is giving a key note speech to developers on Anti-Social Containment architecture next Wednesday.