Council closes Wirral

Wirral Borough Council last night announced they are closing the borough due to budget cut backs.

Bankrupt Wirral Council admitted last night that there are plans being drawn up to sell the Wirral to a Chinese state development company. BingBong Investments Inc, the holding company at the centre of this proposal, say demolishing the Wirral will create 12 jobs and ensure ‘Wirrals heritage is safe guarded for future Chinese tourism’.

A statement from the council said “Due to major budget deficits we are proposing to sell the Wirral and all its residents to the highest bidder.”

Shocked Wirral residents are unsure of what this news will mean.

“Agh, Bejesus, these cut backs are a disgrace, Wirraliens will have to go to Liverpool to find work, homes and drug dealers” commented ex New Brighton Labour councilor, Fat Packett, from the upstairs window of his mothers terraced home.

Local community leaders and elderly are in shock over the announcements. Betty Scalhard of Liscard Road is fuming, and its not just her credit crunch busting superkings from Boozebuster which are up in smoke. “We were all worried about cut backs when we heard the news Wirral Council had lost all the council tax money on an Icelandic cod farm investment. We never thought it would come to this though.”

Wirral Council chief executive, Steve Rimming, refused to comment on the cut backs last night. Speeding away from the town hall in his chauffeured gold platted humvie towards his penthouse flat above the new Floral Pavilion.